1) We will not attempt to put on a tour unless half the band members are still physically alive. We are not sure how to count Keith Richards for this one.
2) We will not attempt to tour if over half the band is diagnosed as being completely deaf. It might improve our music too much.
3) We will try to remember to have at least one drug not prescribed by a doctor on a daily basis. This can include Advil, Rol-aids, or Milk of Magnesia.
4) We will not have a senior moment and accidentally bring a walker on stage.
5) Adult bladder control garments shall be neatly tucked in and will not appear above any stage costume.