Top 10 reasons aliens will never visit Earth.
10. They got tired of observing hairless apes that walk on two legs.
9. Earth got too polluted to allow aliens to walk among us.
8. Earth is at the bottom of the Planets-to-invade list and will be here shortly.
7. They got better things to do then probe someone for the hundredth time!
6. Theres no need to waste a DeathRay on an already dying planet.
5. The aliens probably never heard of Earth.
4. They already walk among us, your girlfried is one of them!
3. Too far.
2. They have enough hillbillies to experiment on.
1. Their saucers have run out of gas and had to make a pit-stop.