Come visit beautiful, exotic and mysterious San Diablo. This wondrous tropical island was named by the Spanish in 1423, when they first laid eyes on the volcanic formation that was to become Sagrada En Fuego (Monastery of the Sacred Flame). They were sure that this was the gateway to hades.
The natives here are peaceful fun loving souls. Back then, the superstitious fears of this rock protected them from invasion. Now that superstitions are less prevalent, they have allowed visitors to partake of the sulfur rich mud baths that the early Spaniards were sure would pull them down to the abyss of darkness. For a small donation, you will be able to spend the day relaxing in this unique mixture. After partying all night, a day in these baths will completely rejuvenate you.
The most mysterious aspect of this sulfur based mud, is that is seems to penetrate right through one’s pores, and literally suck out fatty tissue. The natives joke about this being enough sacrifice to appease the fire god. It’s also the reason many locals are in the clothing business. Prepare to leave here a few sizes smaller than when you arrived! The average native male has no more than a size 32 waist. Females size 3 are considered large.
There are no alcoholic beverages on San Diablo. They make a drink out of cocoanut, pineapple, mango and sulfur spring water. If exported, this would make them all rich. They have no intention of doing this, so you will need to come here to taste this ambrosia.
If you do not consider this the most enjoyable vacation you have ever had, we will gladly return your travel expenses. The only stipulation: you will never be allowed to return. We have yet to give a refund!