Day One:
Let me start out by saying I’m not writing this because my mother told me that “it would be good for me” or because “in ten years I’ll look back and laugh”. No, I’m writing because I am stuck in the middle of nowhere in this god forsaken camp with nothing better to do!
It rained all morning! My mother was late in dropping me off so I didn’t get first choice in bunks. I had to take a bottom bunk. It’s at least a hundred degrees in this cabin and I think I might sweat to death. On top of my bunk I found the CAMP rules and guidelines. What is this, a PRISON? There’s no running water, I have to pee in an outhouse and there aren’t any showers! How GROSS! There’s no electricity! That means no tv, no computer, no playstation, and NO air conditioning! Rule number five in the handbook says there will be NO use of electrical devices of any kind. If you’re caught with “said device” it will be taken away and returned at the end of the week I also read that there will be a monk dinner on Wednesday where you’re not allowed to talk. If you do, they’ll take utensils away. Again, PRISON! There is a strict policy of lights out at 8 pm. What am I, five? If it ever stops raining we’re supposed to have a sing song at the campfire. All I have to say is, I will remember this place when picking a retirement home for my parents.
Day Two:
It just keeps getting worse. Last night’s dinner was Tuna surprise. The kitchen staff didn’t tell me until after I had eaten half my plate. I’m allergic to fish!! I spent half the night running to the outhouse and it’s at least a mile from the cabin! To make matters worse, now I have a giant mosquito bite on my butt. After finally getting to sleep I woke up to what I thought was water dripping on me. Guess what? The girl on the top bunk is a bed wetter. I was covered in someone else’s pee and I couldn’t even shower! I did manage to find a sink with working water this morning so I tried to clean myself up. Today we had to sign up for an activity. I picked photography. This morning at breakfast we were told that our cabins have to be kept clean. Each morning the camp leaders do inspections. The cleanest cabin gets the “Eager Beaver” award (more like butt kisser award) and the messiest gets the “Toilet Bowl” award. My Cabin won the bowl award so now we have to wake up at six am tomorrow and run three miles around the camp! This is SO A PRISON! Did I mention I hate this place.
Day Three:
I was not impressed by the three mile run. Now I smell like a gym sock. At breakfast, once again, my cabin got the bowl award. So it looks like it will be another three mile run tomorrow. Today we got to ride horses. I was nervous at first but found that I liked it. In the photography workshop I think I got some really cool shots and can’t wait to develop them tomorrow. At the monk dinner I apparently made so much noise they took away my fork, then my knife, then my spoon and finally my chair (yes I am a rebel). I still hate this place. At the campfire I was attacked by mosquitos and now look like I have the chickenpox.
Day Four:
I fell off my horse today and just about broke my leg. The only good thing is that the camp leaders felt so sorry for me they gave me some ice cream and I won’t have to do the three mile run tomorrow (and yes, yet again, we won the bowl award). I developed my pictures and got an amazing black and white of a turtle. I actually won the photo contest.
Day Five:
Now I smell like a farm animal. My hair is just about greasy enough to fry an egg on. I’m pretty sure I got poison ivy on our hike today. I dropped my flashlight down the toilet last night. I’m now plotting my escape route from this PRISON!
Day Six:
I chipped my tooth on the walnut muffins at breakfast. While playing volleyball, I caught a wicked spike in the face that caused a nosebleed that sprayed blood everywhere. I can’t stand the smell of myself and I really just want to go home and have a shower. I’d like to know what I did to deserve to be sent here! Tomorrow just can’t come fast enough.
Day Seven:
The camp leaders asked me not to comeback next year. Apparently I’m too “accident prone”and their insurance could go up! That was music to my ears! I’m finally FREE!!!!