He was the stealthiest, fastest and greatest at getting the steaks. Straight in the butchers, round the counter, a swift grab then back outside. Everyone loved him. He did it so expertly and waited until the butchers were busy, or weren’t looking, this way they never knew he’d even been there. Except one thing. He was a hairy dog, wherever he went his hair left telltale messages to those with a keen eye. Despite managing to evade all the extra security and managing to escape with fresh meat, his hair gave him away.
They all rallied together in the alleyway, finishing off a selection of ribs caught this morning. They were being evicted from their home behind this butchers, although another had been located several streets down, yet to have had a single visit from their speedy friend. But this isn’t the first alleyway they’ve had to leave, this isn’t the first butcher who has become wise to their tricks. Eventually they will run out of butchers, which means no more meat, and no more meat means a hungry bunch of dogs!
They moved to the new alleyway that day and pushed the bins together for shelter from the starting rain. A conference was held, they knew no one else could get the meat quite so stealthily, so another solution must be found. Many ideas where thrown into what was fast becoming a debate rather than a discussion, many were rejected. Others put themselves forward to be the ones who tried to get the meat, but they were too slow, too big or even too small to be effective. The mood dropped as they began to realise they may never eat fresh again, and the bins might be all they are good for.
One morning, while rifling through the freshly put out bins from the neighbouring apartment block, a discovery was made. Rushing back to the group, item in mouth and making a general ruckus, one of the smaller dogs proudly presented his idea. He’d found a razor. Eyes widened as all realised what was being suggested, his hair was the only thing that gave him away. Remove the hair and you remove the problem. Now the idea was sound, in fact quite logical, and now they had a means to implement it. But as the weather grew worse and winter approached our speedy friend was reluctant to oblige.
The mood had not improved with this decision, they couldn’t force him to have his fur removed, especially as he had a point, without his fur he was exposed to the elements. But they began to resent him for it all the same, their little community was hanging by a thread. The laughter and play was gone, their food was low and less palatable, and it seemed there was nothing which could be done. Standing by the entrance to the alleyway they watched the humans go by, laughing, smiling and warm. But they don’t have fur. They have clothes!
It was time to use his skills of speed and stealth, it was time to retrieve something that was needed to continue. This time, however, it was not meat he was after. Diving into the store he ducked between shelves and items on hangers, skidding on the polished floor but making no sound. Soon he made the discovery he longed for. Jumpers, sweaters and warmth. Quickly, and quietly, he snapped up the warmest he could find and was out the door in a flash. Back to the alley he ran, straight to his friends with a smile in his eyes and wag in his tail. No one knew where the jumper had gone, or where the strange hair had come from.
Everyone was awash with excitement, they had much to do, with one razor and no hands they got to work. Some held his tail while another stroked the razor across his fur. Others searched bags and bins to find more equipment that could help. It was a long tiring job, for he did have a lot of hair. But they worked hard until light would fade, his hair collecting in a pile at the back of the alley. He could feel the chill starting the more hair he lost, but knew this was a sacrifice he needed to take, to help his friends and to keep everyone together. A week passed, he was ready.
Looking dapper in his new jumper, one which was warm but light to wear for movement and speed, he checked the coast was clear. Then he was gone in a flash, into the butchers and round the counter, into the steak and out the door. The dogs cheered and jumped with joy, the butcher didn’t even notice the meat was gone. The community thrived, the mood changed, immediately everyone praised our fast and stealthy friend. They made the alleyway their home in the knowledge they’d never need to move again, thanks to their teamwork and hairless friend. He did of course require upkeep, and extra shaving, but it was a small price to pay to keep everyone together and the hunger at bay.
So if you ever see a dog in a jumper walking in the street, make sure you keep an eye on where you keep your meat!