Mikal checked his email again. It was still there. He knew that chick from the bar was too good to be true. He was fairly certain that her age was somewhere between what she had told him and what they were claiming in their email. The picture wasn't the best quality, but it was hard to mistake that bar code across his butt. He'd thought it was funny at the time.
The big man sat staring at the computer screen tapping his teeth. He actually wished it was a better picture. His fuzzy memories suggested that she was cuter than he could make out in the pixelated mess on his screen. He typed quickly.
Don't recognize the girl. I need better quality pictures, preferably from a better angle. All I can see is my butt.
He went and got himself a beer while he waited for the reply. It took most of a six pack before his computer chimed.
The picture was much better this time, and he could see the girl clearly. She wasn't as cute as he remembered. Definitely not worth what it was the blackmailers wanted.
Let me think about it. You got any pictures of cuter girls?
While he waited, Mikal rolled a joint and put the best picture up on photoshop. He began playing with it until he thought he had a picture of a girl that might be worth the trouble.
You want to set me up with a chick. This is what I want.
The next email came back asking him what he thought he was doing. They were serious. He did the job or they would sent the pics to the cops. He would do more years that she was old. They sent more pictures too. They were much sharper and the chickie looked a lot younger.
Mikal looked from his photoshopped pictures to the newest pics on his screen. He smiled. This was going to be fun. He got another beer from the fridge and got to work after emailing back that they'd got him and would do what they asked.
The meet was in the park under a footbridge that was a favourite spot for the local taggers. He had twenty four hours to get his gear together and sober up. Mikal couldn't understand why they thought he was drunk. He cracked another beer while he fired off an email to a friend of his. He printed a stack of pictures then carefully erased all the files except for the ones he left as email attachments. When he was done he set his drive to optimizing and went to bed.
*****
Mikal woke late in the morning. He had the fridge door open with the beer in his hand before he remembered the email. He tried to recall the brilliant plan that he had come up with last night. Nothing. Looking wistfully at the beer he put it back in the fridge and went to his desk.
The sticky note on the screen just said “Go wth th flow. I's all set.” At least that's what he thought it said. He hoped his plan was better than his handwriting. He went out for lunch since all he had in the house was beer.
Evening finally came and Mikal picked up his gear, already packed and headed for the meet.
The first thing he noticed as he walked across the park was the new graffiti on the bridge. It was a larger than life size picture of his backside complete with bar code. There was a young woman waiting for him.
He peered at her for a moment then grinned. “I know you! You're cuter with you clothes on.” Her jaw clenched and he thought he heard teeth grinding.
“This way.” She led him under the bridge to where two men were waiting.
“What's with the artwork?” one asked.
“Taggers,” Mikal said, “Who knows what's in their heads.”
“Can we get down to business here?” the girl said.
“Sure thing,” Mikal said, “Pictures first.”
“Here you are,” she held a brown envelope, “Eight by ten glossies just as you asked.” Mikal took the envelope and stashed it in his bag. “You get the SD card after the job.”
“Here are the plans of the house you are going to rob and a list --”
“EVERYBODY FREEZE!” the cops came over the bridge on ropes while half the people in the park ran toward them. The other half ran away.
*******
“So they were trying to blackmail you with fake pictures?” the detective asked.
“Yeap, they wanted me to break into some house for them.”
“And these are the pictures?” he spread them across the table. “The tattoo is convincing and she is under age.”
“You saw the tag at the bridge. I got peeved at some boarders last week and mooned them. They put my butt up on display. Anyone could take code and put it on a picture.” He pointed to the other pile. “Those are just as convincing and you saw the emails."
“Right,” the detective looked at the pictures of celebrities with bar codes tattoo in unfortunate places, “And you did call us in. You're free to go. Just be careful.”
“You got that right. I'll never be able to show my butt in public again.”