Author's Note: I don't know how this works - I just followed the instructions the alien voices gave me.
Things have not got entirely well, but it seems I have gotten there in the end.
What I do know is that since the first test firing two weeks ago my cat has lost part of his tail, there is a large hole in my living-room wall, and I haven't seen my wife for at least a week.
But the device appears to work, so all is not as bad at it first seemed.
Additional views of the device can be seen in use here and here, and a closer view.
View full, vote fair, and good luck to the others!