He sits at the desk in the corner, head in hand, slowly drowning in red ink. “I don’t know how we’re going to make it,” he says. “I just don’t know.”
She has been keeping out of his way, letting him get on with it, but now she offers him creamy, cinnamon-dusted hot chocolate and a comforting hand on his shoulder. She doesn’t say it’s okay, but she doesn’t need to.
He makes an effort to smile, to show her that he appreciates the interruption. “I’m sorry. I’ve been so down lately.”
“There’s another job out there. We’ll make it.” Even after all these years her voice still thrills him.
“Sometimes I forget that I’m the luckiest man in the world.” His smile strengthens as he looks longingly at the woman who loves him. The woman he loves. The woman he can’t provide for. “Who needs money when you have love, right?” He almost succeeds in keeping the bitterness out of his voice, and immediately regrets that he didn’t.
“You need to take a break.” She’s still smiling, but he knows he hurt her. “Come on- it’s the holidays! The bills will still be there after we get back from dinner tomorrow. Let’s go for a walk.”
He tosses the pen on the desk, closes the laptop. He can feel the months of frustration and despair boiling near the surface and cannot trust himself to say anything, so he just fetches their jackets and meets her at the door.
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The cool air eases his mood and as they stroll along the forest path she can feel his hand gripping hers, holding hers, caressing hers as its tension fades away and he pushes his troubles to the back of his mind. He looks at her out of the corner of his eye, grins and nonchalantly looks away when she catches his glance, then looks again like a lovestruck teenager. She rewards him with that smile, nothing withheld, all hurts forgiven. Sometimes you’ve got to just walk it off together.
He doesn’t notice how far they’ve gone until they arrive at the gazebo on the top of the hill, a half-hour hike away from their house in the valley. They sit together, looking down at the last of the fall colors. Their troubles must climb a long way to follow them here.
“From up here, the world doesn’t look so bad,” he says. “There are worse things than losing a job.”
She snuggles into his neck, looks up into his eyes. “We will make it”
“I know. I am the luckiest guy in the world.”
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They talk on the walk back down the hill, counting their blessings, listing the things for which they are thankful. “I may not have a job, but at least I’m not stuck doing something I hate,” he says. “I can spend more time with you.”
She smiles, locks her fingers with his. “I love you,” she whispers.
He is a different man from the one who went up the hill, renewed and buoyed up by the warmth radiating from the woman leaning happily on his arm.
Tomorrow there will be turkey and family, and afterwards there will still be bills to pay, but after that? She will be there with him, and that is all he needs to know.