5. “Is it okay if I take a picture of your mattress? You can see the Virgin Mary in the yellow stains.”
4. “Your couch was too heavy to lift, so we had to remove the legs and most of the Doritos from inside.”
3. “There’s a vibrating box in your closet, and Jorge won’t go back in there because he thinks it’s el Diablo…”
2. “Wait, we weren’t supposed to use actual peanuts?”
1. “Fra-jee-lay…”