5. “The good news is we’ve found all of your belongings. The bad news is they’re up for sale on eBay.”
4. “One of your boxes broke and something fell out. We had to call the police. They’re on their way to seize everything in the truck as evidence.”
3. “It seems there’s been a mistake with your paperwork. Everything is on its way to Buenos Aires.”
2. “Do you have a pet cat?” The mover hands you a familiar collar. “We found your cat in the truck. Your fridge fell on it while we were driving.” Following an awkward pause, “We’re sorry for your loss.”
1. Ten minutes after a truck leaves with everything you own, the mover arrives. Confused, you tell him that someone named Dave already took everything. He replies, “Dave? We don’t have a Dave at the office.”