Dearest Parents,
It is with subsequent regret that I have to inform you of my imminent departure from the restrictions of the private educational system. I fear that the curriculum no longer holds any potential for further learning; the past months have been increasingly filled with tedious meanderings through subjects already comprehensively covered within my extracurricular lessons.
Please do not feel apprehensive about my future, I have endeavoured to find a new source of learning. By the time you read this correspondence I will have enrolled in the “School of Life” where I hope to find a refreshing new outlook within the exciting courses such as "The Missus is up the Duff, Avoiding the CSA in Three Easy Steps" and "Burberry, the Attire of Chav”. As I am certain you will appreciate, the anticipation is somewhat overwhelming, my only concern is locating the centre of learning as it is merely referred to as “The Street”.
I will write again in the near future with a concise report of my progress, for now I will simply sign off by using an amusing new term from the lexicon I am striving to perfect.
Word to the Mother (and father of course)
William.