Memorandum
CC: ALL (In-office use only)
12 August 2011
Good morning, Tedious Corp, Inc. members. This is an official notice that Chuck Weasling, former VP of Accounting, has been promoted to Deity of Operations.
His Most Holy Chuck has been part of our Tedious Corp, Inc. family for 17 years, and is coming to us from Boca Raton. It is He who is omniscient and will maintain oversight of the McDaly office-copier contract from 2009. Tomorrow at lunch, there will be a congratulatory sacrifice of an unlovingly-purchased stale cake from the nearest grocer deli, followed by obligatory applause and an awkward silence for Him.