"Josie has the same three items on her New Year's Resolution list every year. It isn't that she never finishes them; she does, every single time, but she purposefully made her goals vague enough so she could accomplish all three things in a different way each year."
I reached into the pocket of my jeans and pulled out a well-worn folded piece of paper, which I handed over to Stan. I had just met Stan this morning. He had a friendly face; tan and etched with laugh lines, and was doing me a huge favor, so I had no reservations about sharing the list with him.
Stan smiled at me with his twinkling blue-grey eyes and gingerly unfolded the paper. I noticed that he was careful to hold on to it tight, afraid it might blow away in the wind. As I saw his eyes moving over the piece of paper, I pictured the words he was reading. I'd had the list memorized for months now.
Josie's New Year's Resolutions:
1. Do something nice for a stranger.
2. Do something that scares me.
3. Treat myself to something lavish.
He re-folded it and handed it back to me, to be put back into my pocket.
"Every year?" he asked.
"Every year. I remember one year in December, she took her entire paycheck to the store and used it to buy the Christmas presents of the other people in her checkout aisle. That was her 'something nice for a stranger' that year. She had saved up for months beforehand to be able to live without that paycheck. Then, there was the time she dragged me to every fair in a hundred mile radius one summer before she found a mechanical bull to ride. She was terrified. But she did it. Lasted only 4 seconds, but she did it anyways, and I've never seen her laugh so hard."
Stan smiled and shook his head. "Sounds like quite a young lady. And now?"
I took a deep breath. "And now, her list is my list. Which is the entire reason I'm here today. In a hot air balloon. A million miles above the ground." As I talked, I gripped the basket of the balloon that Stan was piloting. We had started the morning in a grassy field, with his balloon crew of about 5 other people. We weren't the only ones; Stan's balloon was part of the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta that took place every year.
Stan knew I was afraid of heights, which is why he had suggested I might feel more comfortable if I watched and helped out with the setup of the balloon. I was introduced to his flight team this morning, and then watched interestedly as they started setting everything up. I didn't realize how much work went into getting a hot air balloon up in the air until I saw it in action myself. The team worked swiftly but carefully, which was reassuring to me. They unloaded the wicker basket along with some other equipment I didn't recognize, and then the balloon. It was massive. I somehow hadn't expected it to be that big.
I hesitated when they asked me if I wanted to help hold one of the cables when they started inflation, but I decided if I was there, I may as well get the most out of the experience. I gripped tight on the cable as I watched the nylon monster in front of me filling with air. When they started what they called the "hot inflation", I could feel the heat from the fire and almost gasped in surprise as the balloon started gracefully rising. Once it was standing straight up in the air, I heard Stan yell, "WEIGHT ON!" That was everyone's cue to lean on to the basket to help keep it from floating away. I gladly handed my cable over to another crew member and looked around as I helped hold the basket down. The field was dotted with colorful balloons in various stages of setup, and a few of them had already taken to the sky.
Stan's balloon was blue and yellow, with a diagonal black-and-white checkerboard design zig zagging around it. I loved it and was intimidated by it, all at the same time. I steeled myself as I climbed into the basket ("No door on this basket", Stan had said, "It's up and over or down and out."), and watched Stan hop in, making it look like nothing at all. Before I knew it, we had started to slowly float off the ground. I could feel my heart pounding as we slowly rose higher and higher, and I tried to concentrate on Stan. I watched him checking gauges and pulling ropes, and closed my eyes as I heard the fire blast when he pulled that particular cord to send us even higher.
I felt a little dizzy at first, but at one point I took a chance to peek out of the balloon, and the sight of the clear blue sky being filled with colorful dots was so beautiful that it was a little difficult to be terrified anymore. That's when I had started talking with Stan, after I had mostly calmed my nerves and found my voice again. We chatted about ourselves, and I found out he had been attending the Fiesta ever since he was a boy, when his parents had decided to become balloonists on a whim. I told him more about Josie, my best friend since we were 12. He said she sounded like a fascinating person.
I gave him a small smile. "She is. She's so bubbly and bright, and you just can't help but smile when you're around her."
His eyes crinkled when he smiled. "Well, we're starting to come down now. You'll feel a bump when we hit the ground, but I'll make it as gentle as possible. Then I expect your Josie will want to hear all about your morning."
Later that afternoon, after going home and washing up, I walked into the Albuquerque Medical Arts Building. I'd walked the path a thousand times by now, it was almost automatic. In the front doors, to the elevators, 3rd floor, sixth room on the right. The name outside the door was Josephine Abrams. I greeted her nurses, who waved me in right away. They were familiar with me. Josie was the only one in the room, but the fresh bowl of daisies (her favorite) on the table told me someone (or several someones) from her family had been in to visit today.
I looked at my best friend, hooked up to tubes and monitors, unconscious as usual. She had been in a vehicle accident four months ago and had been in a coma ever since. Even in her state of unconsciousness, she somehow seemed bright. I pulled the visitor's chair up to her bedside, smiled at her, and began chatting about my day. I told her how scared I had been, but how proud of myself I felt when I did it, and what a good time I'd had once I finally relaxed. I talked to her for longer than I realized, and before I knew it, felt my stomach growling to signal dinner time. Before I left, I set a hot air balloon keychain on the table next to her bed. I also took out her resolution list and unfolded it, placing it on her table.
"Well, my Josie Jo, I think it's time I returned your list to you. Doing something scary was the last thing on it for this year, which is good, because I don't know if I would have been as creative as you were about thinking up ways to help strangers. It's finished. I'm returning it and I know you won't mind, because I've got my own New Year's Resolution list now."
I squeezed her hand and said goodbye, but not before pulling out my resolution list and unfolding it. The paper was brand new, unlike her list. I read the words on it again, smiling at my new resolution; the first resolution I had ever made that I knew I would take seriously in years to come:
Be more like Josie.