Aquarius: Who are you trying to fool? You’re not going to move out of your mother’s basement any time soon. And you’ll never use the new gym membership you just bought. If you do, you’ll spend five minutes on the treadmill and then go drive to McDonald’s. Go ahead and super-size it, it’s not like you have anyone to impress anyway. Women will continue to avoid you until you start bathing and throw out the Green Lantern T-Shirt you bought five years ago when you were only a XXL. And please stop buying those lottery tickets. Even if you play the numbers in The Weekly World News, you’re not going to win. The stars suggest that today you should take control of your own life and quit reading bogus horoscopes.