Bonus: Limerick Wars 2

Rules:

It's just like a Haiku War, but not! Here is your chance to be be creative, poetic, and cruel, all at the same time. In this contest, your task is to poke fun at your fellow Worth junkies in limerick form, as in this example by CCZ:

Der Alt

Oh great wizard of style, class, and heart,
And a talent that sets you apart.
Sure you're great at ModRen,
You lived way back then,
When the classics were just "modern art."


The rules of the game are thus: In Limerick form, tease your buddies both humorously and mercilessly. Create a clever, funny, hysterical, rip-roaring, and/or gut busting limerick that cuts to the quick. One limerick per entry please.

Keep in mind that profanity is not acceptable, and please review all of Worth's Text contest guidelines before submitting. As always, quality is a must, we will remove poor entries no matter how much we like you. You will have 10 days for this contest, so make your submissions cruel.

(Oh, by the way, this is all in fun, anything deemed by the moderators as abusive or mean-spirited will be disqualified.)

Entries:

A Tribute to Rob

rob_church is a marvel indeed.
He types with incredible speed.
His words are quite clever
and funny; however,
they're harder than Sanskrit to read.

Word count: 24


Anni's Bat

When Anni encountered a bat,
A basket she used as a hat.
"I'm not coming out,
While that thing's about,
I'm staying right here and that's that"!!

Word count: 27


Galoot

There once was a cat named Galoot,
Possessing a wit quite astute.
His remarks were spot on,
Alas, now he’s gone;
(From the basement he still licks Min’s boot.)

Word count: 29


Scary Car Wash Dude

Said Arsi, “I’ll not be a surgeon,
“Won’t do it, despite all your urgin’.”
Said Scary Dude brusquely,
“I'll gut me a husky,
“But humans? That’s too much like splurgin’.”

Word count: 30


Starsfallin

Starsfallin was inclined to moan
“I’m all alone in my home!”
She wanted a hubby
Short, tall, thin or chubby
Now she’s married to Gerald the Gnome!

Word count: 27


Treason

Our Treason, she isn’t a Sphinx
She always says all that she thinks
She posts in the forums,
In contests, to morons
She’s also the Queen of the Links.

Word count: 29


Pretentious!

On prestige and prizes hell bent
My limerick to Text Wars I've sent
But my wife (who's contentious)
Says "It's simply pretentious
To think that it's worth one red cent!"

Word count: 30


Blue Jelly Bean

All through July we have seen,
The rise of the blue jelly bean.
Ercolano’s been shunned,
And now he's been stunned,
By the curse of the jelly bean queen.

Word count: 29


Arsidubu

Whenever I’m tempted to yammer
I find that I stutter and stammer
Cuz those pink bunny ears
Awaken my fears
He’s got the world’s biggest ban hammer!

Word count: 27


Harry122 and His Photobucket

Harry carries a big photo bucket
When he's angry he’s inclined to chuck it
“My nerves are a-snap
These entries are crap!
I must use my bucket to muck it!”

Word count: 30


The Worth Poet

There once was a writer on Worth,
who thought he could take on the earth,
with riddle and rhyme
and poems sublime
but we'd all rather keep a wide berth

Word count: 30


Soli's Cry

There once was a fantasy congest,
With coveted horns up for conquest.
But the once Head to Head
Has been backstabbed and bled,
And is now "just" a regular contest.

Word count: 30


Dio and Flagon

With stories of comedic appeal,
Of Dio the wizard afield
With a dragon named Flagon
Whose wit keeps a waggin'
'Til you wonder which one is real.

Word count: 27


Anni

Anni’s scared of those nasty old bats
She thinks they’re just big flying rats
See some idiot ask it
When she’s curled in her basket
“Hey, Admin, can you fix my stats?”

Word count: 32


Lurker's Repose

I don’t want to look like a jerk,
And comedy’s a lot of work.
So I stay really quiet,
And watch the forums riot.
I’m happy when I sit and lurk.

Word count: 31


Supagray

In forums engages with fire
In comps wins with chops and with wire
Builds his strength in the gym
Muscles flex on a whim
But at night of Dora won’t tire.

Word count: 31


Bummer!

There once was a jolly young chappy,
who was significantly happy.
Then the contest ended,
His rank had descended,
The young chappy then needed a nappy!

Word count: 26


Great SCOT

Our SCOT is Fanatic
Who is all but erratic
He wins with aplomb
As challengers come
But leave him to rule in the attic.

Word count: 24


All of us?

Tree photos and a fun cow band,
drawn scenes or a pun now panned.
We break into a grin
as we put down our pen
‘cause we know it’s worth one thousand.

Word count: 32


Worthless Fool

There once was a worthless fool,
Who toiled for nothing but credits and drool,
Spending the entire day,
Working without pay,
Only to be insulted by an irrelevant tool

Word count: 29