HAIKU WARS SEVEN!

Rules:

It's just like an MSPaint War, but not! Here is your chance to be be creative, poetic, and cruel, all at the same time. In this contest, your task is to poke fun at your fellow Worth junkies in haiku form. (a three lined poem with a very specific format: first line, 5 syllables; second line, 7 syllables; last line 5 syllables)

Example, courtesy of icepigs:

My Juror's Star

Thank you for that Star
You recognized my greatness
What took you so long?

The rules of the game are thus: In haiku form ( first line, 5 syllables; second line, 7 syllables; last line 5 syllables ), tease your buddies both humourously and mercilessly, in accordance with our text contest guidelines. As always, quality is a must. You will have 14 days for this contest, so make your submissions cruel.

Entries:

Text Contests

Don't have Photoshop?
No artistic skill either?
Win a text contest.

Word count: 11


GutterMonkey

Does the outer grouch
Hide the soul of a poet?
Nah, that’s really him.

Word count: 14


Illustrators

Didn't pass English?
No problem, try out illo.
Anyone can draw!

Word count: 11


Learn how to spell!

"Hugz" and "wuv" and stuff...
"Kissez" and "snugglez" and crap...
Totally "gagz" me.

Word count: 13


Anni

Our fearless Admin
Under a basket she goes
Flying fox swoops down

Word count: 12


Compulsion

Frequent stat checker,
How much could your rank have changed
In just ten minutes?

Word count: 14


Jurassic Corp

Corporate voter
Those stubby dinosaur arms
Won't reach beyond five

Word count: 10


Overconfidence

Dumb illo admins.
I bet if I flip my source,
they won't catch the trace.

Word count: 15


Makri's Jealousy

bashing the textors
because all YOU can write is
meh meh meh meh meh.

Word count: 14


Choppers

Thousand word pictures?
Yet nothing is funnier.
Than choppers writing.

Word count: 10


Which is three fewer than this Haiku...

A picture is worth
One thousand words. Except chops.
They're only worth ten.

Word count: 13


Silly Pussy

"Drawing Awesomer"??!!
Ha! Meowza's no textor,
Cat's got no grammar!!

Word count: 10


Personal Reasoning

Score me less than four?
Please tell me exactly why.

Because it sucks eggs.

Word count: 16


Introductions

Please be nice, I'm new,
I did this in four minutes.
Welcome! :) Here's a one!

Word count: 16


Groupies, Go Home!!

Banhammer (the band)
stopped being "cool" long ago.
Please, just let it die.

Word count: 13


bevissimo

a cry of despair
beeve has mislaid her glasses
sugar shack boredom

Word count: 12


Bad Decision

Seventy entries
You gave out sixty nine ones
Kiss your Karma bye

Word count: 12


Galoot

Bev misses you so.
(You can tell the truth: you're just
avoiding her, right?)

Word count: 14


Almost Twins...

pink fairy costume
is it the GutterMonkey
or is it IC?

Word count: 11


Alright already

Textors bugging us
Write a Haiku if you dare!
Like it's some big deal

Word count: 14


A new admin's lament

Thanks for the clichés
I've learned how to DQ them.
Why haven't you stopped?

Word count: 14


The Old Timer Stove

You want a sponsor?
I visited your stat page.
Lose the stupid stove.

Word count: 13


Please hold, your call is very important to us.

Members ask for help.
Voice message is heard by all.
Admins at the pool.

Word count: 14


ODBC Drivers error 80040e31

Worth is running slow
It's just StaffTech breaking things
ODBC died

Word count: 11


Bevissimo

Swollen, burned, battered
Lives on the edge of chaos
Walking danger zone

Word count: 12


WorthyNick

Your grammar is wrong
phrases, words, punctuation,
Get out of text now.

Word count: 12


MadMonkey2

elusive monkey
dealing poo justly - until
someone mentions boobs

Word count: 9


arsidubu

despite that flaunted
banhammer reputation
a great pink fluffball

Word count: 9


Choppers!

Wah wah wah, do me!
Oh please, like I ever would!?
Grown ups write Haikus!

Word count: 15


Pink....

Photoshop man tries
his hand at drawing. Too 'fraid
to compete old man?

Word count: 13


Forum Form

Every witty pun
"I was going to say that"
MM2's reply

Word count: 11


HAIKU BACK AT YOU

fool's gold you pursue
with your low IQ haiku
all Worth ~ no value

Word count: 13


I’ll bet you think this thread is about you

It’s in praise of X
So Y must you invade it
Listing your success?

Word count: 14


Diogenese

Alas poor Dio,
Sesquipedalian oaf
pompous barsteward

Word count: 7


Tool of Choice

Photoshop? No way!
Aviary? For the birds.
I'll stick with Paint thanks.

Word count: 12


Snowcrasher

Hanging out in chat
While wondering “WHY?” in Bots
Yes, she has no life

Word count: 14


touchy

What right do you have
to sit there and judge my work
have you read your own!

Word count: 17


Haiku vs. MSPaint

they think they can draw
twee, illiterate choppers
sorry you're inapt

Word count: 11


Mad Monkey 2

My Mad Monkey 2
sun gleaming off your proud skull
hairless and shining

Word count: 13


orion1977

Open a Text thread?
What? And maybe have to read?
Must be orion!

Word count: 13


Norrit

Dust off your mantle
You have been hiding too long
Reclaim your top spot

Word count: 14


Congratulations Phildo! Oh, wait.

Since it's haiku wars,
I can't say juror Phildo
is great. So I won't.

Word count: 14


Galoot

precious orange cat
you do prefer Min’s basement
while we wait, saddened

Word count: 12


SOME VOTERS

missed the point again?
reason, logic elude you?
must I dumb it down?

Word count: 13


wouldbe hitman

wannabe wants you
out of illo so it's he
who scores that trophy!


In his own words :D
“Nice work, MM. We just have to put a hit out on a few others and we will be in.”

scroll down for the evidence

Word count: 46


Snowcrasher

Why you ask Why, Snow?
Why not who, what, where, whom, when?
Stop asking, Why, Snow!

. No real offense

Word count: 19


That Kimbomac

You are always here
the greatest photographer.
But I still beat you!

Word count: 12


NDAGGT: A Worthy Exchange

Christmas approaches...
Please post me very weird stuff
I will do the same


In the words of celticfrog in this thread
“I notice a trend toward weirdness. Go figure.”

Word count: 32


Dear Moderator,

Please do tell me why,
I have been disqualified,
so close before time!

Word count: 13


LadyMin

LadyMin stumbles,
Recovers and falls again;
Nobody's laughing.

Word count: 8


Fellow worths

Challengers of skill
Advocates of written word
Judges of my worth

Word count: 11


Client's choice,

Yay, a money bag!
But what's that? Still the same rank!
How can that be fair?

Word count: 16


SB22

push the basic rules
sometimes works, sometimes DQ
SickBoy22

Word count: 9


aim to please

I may be new here
but I aim to make it big
please leave a comment

Word count: 16


surprised aint you !

As i always said
fools are of two kind, but now
you became the third

Word count: 15


Jackpot

finished my logo
midnight 'cause I tried my best,
...damn! Max did so too.

Word count: 14


Pac0

You, give me my lunch
money, or i'll stab you with
a rusty knife. NOW!.

Word count: 15


Story

Tell me a story
About me winning Haiku
Genre Fantasy

Word count: 10


TO ADMINISTRATORS

He11 is New Jersey?
It is just a joke, they claim
getting to be old

Word count: 15


late submission

I submit quite late
Because I am cheating much:
My work now comes first

Word count: 14


Illo's

Picture's worth so much.
A thousand words to replace
Introduced with five.

Word count: 12


Price of winning

Haiku War began
People voting till their death
For what I have done

Word count: 13