We've all seen them -- those little packets of silica gel that accompany stereo equipment, emblazoned with the words DO NOT EAT. On most coffee cups, you'll find a helpful reminder that the beverage you're about to enjoy is extremely hot. Rent a wood chipper, and there'll be a sign warning that you could lose a hand if you stick it into the feeder. Duh.Apparently, they're needed, because there are those among us who will try almost anything. Pretty soon there will be television shows dedicated to people doing mind-boggling stupid antics....oh, wait.Anyway, here's your chance to make the world a little safer for your not-so-bright neighbors. Create your own ridiculously obvious warning label for known products. Like so:Disposable Lighter: Caution: Do not use to thaw frostbitten body parts.The rules of the game are thus: Create your own warning labels for preexisting products for the idiots among us. ONLY ONE WARNING LABEL PER ENTRY, PLEASE! Keep in mind that profanity is not acceptable. All entries must be in accordance with our text rules and guidelines. As always, quality is a must. You will have 7 days for this contest, so make your submission count.Length Limit: 25 words. It's a label, not a novel!Thanks to Brendan for reminding us of this contest idea!
Caution: Wearing item on head may result in 10 to 15 years in a correctional facility.
On beer bottle labels: "Surgeon General's warning: This product contains chemicals known in the state of California to cause pregnancy".
Plant with green part facing upward.
Please note that the Jiffy Steamer only removes wrinkles from fabric, not the face or body.
On Spray-on Eyeglass Cleaner: Remove glasses from face before using spray.
On the underside of a bucket: Do not fill container prior to reading this warning.
Funeral Casket: For use with dead body only.
Warning: Do not use this dynamite as candles on a birthday cake, despite what you have seen in cartoons.
Warning - Not to be used in zombie make-up.
On Contact lens package:Attention!Remove old lenses before inserting new.
Warning! Product is edible. Consumption of product will result in satiated hunger and increased energy. Possible choking hazard.
Rolling Pin:
This item not intended for use on husbands. Serious injury or legal action could result.
Open can before consumption
Television:
WARNING: The images/concepts depicted on this device are for entertainment purposes only. The ideas expressed herein are not necessarily based on fact.
CAUTION:
VOTE "10" BEFORE CONTINUING!
Boarding Pass: Use of this document may lead to a discretionary cavity search.
When photocopying own buttocks, please take the care to ensure proper hygene by wiping first. We know who you are.
For personal defence uses only.
Not for use as a condiment.
Point away from face.
K.Y. JELLY – ATTENTION! - NOT FIT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION (not even good with fresh bread and peanut butter…. Not even the crunchy stuff!)
Gebruik om geen gaten in de dijk te stoppen.Translation from Dutch:Do not use to plug holes in the dyke.
TV: Do Not: Machine washTumble DryDry CleanUse bleach
On an anvil: May cause severe pain and/or injury if dropped on head, foot or any other bodily part.
THOROUGHLY READ TO THE END OF THIS WARNING LABEL BEFORE PROCEEDING!
THANK YOU. NOW PLEASE PROCEED.
Industrial Sander: WARNING not to be used for the removal of unwanted facial or body hair
***warning: May harm political career. Use caution.***
Warning to men: Do not purchase this pan if you frequently irritate your wife or this may become her weapon!
Electric Belt Sander – CAUTION! - Not to be used for personal hair removal!
This Wacom tablet may be harmful if swallowed or used as a suppository. Not a recommended means of birth control.
On a keyboard: REMINDER! There is no actual 'ANY' key.
In sink Garbage disposal – WARNING! - DO NOT USE FOR DISPOSAL OF HUMAN REMAINS!
Warning! Slamming your hand in this door could result in much pain.
Remember to fasten the bungee cord before jumping.
Securely.
And do not just tie it around your neck.
WARNING: Friends don't let friends drink and text.
Warning:Swimming in shark infested waters while wearing swimwear made of meat products may result in dismemberment and/or death.
Warning! Snuggy is not, I repeat, NOT to be used for cult garmets!
Warning - Contents may be heavy.
Not to be used for the sport of fencing. Please use foils or sabres.
17" LCD Television: Not to be taken orally.
Screwdriver CAUTION: Not to be used as a sexual aid while operating a vehicle.
Warning: The Oven is hot, don't touch the heating panel when it's on.
The deep end of the pool is deep, but you can still drown in the shallow end.
.357 Magnum. - DANGER -DO NOT peer down the barrel of the gun and pull the trigger; to see if it is loaded!
Please understand that in all investment arrangements past performance is no guarantee of the same future performance.
Warning do not use flash while driving, may cause temporary blindness.
Use of Binoculars. - HAZARD -Do not use to view sunspots !
On scented body lotion: not intended for human consumption, not a sauce, jelly, or flavoring for food or drink.
Rat Poison: Notice: Not intended for use in euthanasia; May result in horrific symptoms and criminal prosecution. Do not use salt shaker to distribute product.
On LED Lights:
WARNING: Do not read warning while light is ON.
Belt Sander: To avoid risk of injury, this product is not recommended for use on toenails.
Trigonometry Text Book: Caution, when burning in ceremonial bonfire after Finals, please step back. The burning of one's flesh can lead to health problems.
Caution: Do not hold while lighting. May cause sever burns.
Multimedia Speaker System: Not to be used in underwater surround sound systems.
WARNING: Do not use this refrigerator as a time capsule! You can only freeze yourself to death!
Warning: Sharp.
On Gear shift:Do not shift into PARK while driving.
Steering wheel airbag - CAUTION - Driving with Fido in your lap may cause you to experience fur balls !
Warning: Drinking this product may cause intoxication.
Rifle: Warning! Do not point towards anyone, Do not pull the trigger if pointed towards anyone.
Poison: Do NOT Eat!!!