HAIKU WARS EIGHT!

Rules:

It's just like an MSPaint War, but not! Here is your chance to be be creative, poetic, and cruel, all at the same time. In this contest, your task is to poke fun at your fellow Worth junkies in haiku form. (a three lined poem with a very specific format: first line, 5 syllables; second line, 7 syllables; last line 5 syllables)

Example, courtesy of icepigs:

My Juror's Star

Thank you for that Star
You recognized my greatness
What took you so long?

The rules of the game are thus: In haiku form ( first line, 5 syllables; second line, 7 syllables; last line 5 syllables ), tease your buddies both humourously and mercilessly, in accordance with our text contest guidelines. As always, quality is a must. You will have 14 days for this contest, so make your submissions cruel.

Entries:

Basement Life

I won’t need a job,
If I win these Worth Jackpots.
Leave me alone, Mom!

Word count: 15


The Rocketeer

Fanatic's flatus:
Ever-primed for propulsion,
Farts launch him skyward.

Word count: 9


Critic's Corner Redux

At first it was n00bs
“Why did my entry score low?”
Now, everyone whines.

Word count: 14


Exaspera

Birthday thread guru
MultiMedia goddess
Fire your hairdresser

Word count: 8


Brendan, Oh Brendan

Serial commas -
Not a capital offense.
Dang grammar Nazi.

Word count: 9


Whut? Errers?

"Brendan ,Grammer King",
Dont knoe you to Well,sir but,
Doese this; drive yuo nuts !?

Word count: 14


SWP (Single White Photoshopper)

There must be a way!
How can I show my Worth Rank,
When on Match dot com?

Word count: 17


Phildo? How could you?

Is that a bev post?
Facial wound, and crusting blood!
It's not? What the heck??

Word count: 15


Johnrmcconnell's thread in the Critics Corner

That thread you posted,
was an embarassing plea
for more attention.

You got a score of
8.5 on your entry,
and you're complaning!?

Word count: 24


A Helpful Critique ....

Thanks for your comment.
"LOL" is great feedback.
Very constructive.

Word count: 10


New Tiny Admin

Five feet two inches
One might ask..."Who is that short?"
PixelDustMT

Word count: 12


Kudos Ercolano!

Lover of details,
Ercolano posts volumes.
But who understands?

Word count: 9


Entry Angst

Voting has begun!
I’m glued to the leader board!
‘Til I drop ten spots.

Word count: 14


First place

First place is for me
I always strive so damn hard
Who do I sleep with?

Word count: 16


rob_church

Hair of a hippie
Tattoos that scare small children
Try to get a tan

Word count: 14


The Mighty Text Chopper

The mighty choppers
Come to text for haiku wars
D00d, your spelling sucks

Word count: 13


Unhappy Targets

"Paintwars      hurt my hart!"
Poor you. Oh, boo farking hoo!
Grow some skin, whiner.

Word count: 16


Sassyseahorse

Sad sassy seahorse
Is not sassy nor a horse
So why the long face

Word count: 14


NooB

Would love to enter
But without knowing you all
It's hard to poke fun

Word count: 14


Old Joke

An unknown forum
There is a text section here?
Who would have guessed it

Word count: 14


Old Farts at Worth

Make room for the best,
As you all rot to your graves.
Adolescents RULE!

Word count: 14


The Fear of Imagarth

"Hall of Fame" leaders
You too afraid of Jared?
He's only human

Word count: 15


Illustrators

Only seventeen.
Tell me. You can do that, right?
We'll let you use Paint.

Word count: 14


My masterpiece disasterpiece

Yet again letdown,
For what has gone wrong this time,
It's a masterpiece.

Word count: 13


Comfort Zone

You have found your spot!
You definitely excel!
How 'bout something new?

Word count: 12


Happy

Vote for my Haiku
I will be very happy
Otherwise you suck

Word count: 12


Seldom Here

I’ve been gone so long.
I came back for the Haiku.
Well, good bye, so long.

Word count: 16


Blatant Theft

Galoot, LadyMin
Zia, GM. Hey, Harry!
Anni’s been busy

Word count: 9


Be your very best

Be your very best
Try as hard as you can do
Then pay off the judge!

Word count: 16


Those three other areas of Worth.

Oh no, it is Text!
They want me to write something!?
OK, does this work?

Word count: 15


Eternal Love

I believe in you
I value all you give me
Can you spare some change?

Word count: 15


Taking bets....

If Mister Snuggles
And Hannibal Lecter met,
Who would live to tell?

Word count: 12


You BLOW!

Watcha got to load?
You think you are all that dude!
That last “chop” just BLOWS!

Word count: 16


Sponsorship

You have the money,
But it never comes to me.
Justice will be mine!

Word count: 14


Hope

Five, four, three, two, one!
Submit time is almost here!
Maybe a trophy!

Word count: 13


Tomatoes

Politics rule here
Metaphors are not for thee
Writing is still fun

Word count: 12


Me as Me

Am I a writer?
Or is it just I am strong?
Maybe both can do!

Word count: 15


I Watch You

I Watch You Afar
I Have Learned From Your Mistakes
I'm Not A Loser!

Word count: 14