The Elevator Prank 2

Rules:

A friend and I used to prank people on elevators by pretending to be engaged in an outlandish conversation, often involving zoo animals, and then getting off the elevator before the other passengers could hear the ending to the story.

"...How do you do that?"

"A push broom, a garden hose, and two cases of Crest."

"The hippos like Crest?"

"Sure, but....."

The rules of the game are thus: Write the script for an elevator prank--an outlandish conversation that is cut off when the pranksters leave the elevator. Exotic animals, strange happenings, weird relatives--it's all fair game.

Keep in mind that profanity is not acceptable. All entries must be in accordance with our Writing rules and guidelines.

As always, quality is a must. You will have 7 days for this contest, so make your submission count.

Word Limit: 50. Insults longer than 50 words will be disqualified.

Please look over the suggestions in this discussion before submitting.

The entry fee for this contest is 2 credits; the jackpot is 50 credits.

Entries:

"It fit?"

“ … she couldn’t possibly be serious?”

“She swears it’s the truth.”

“With a rake?”

“Yup; thirty pounds of hamster food.”

“It all fit?”

“The 10W30 motor oil helped. But she said the hamster food wasn’t the worst part.”

“Good lord, what was?”

“Apparently the hamsters were hungry, and …”

Word count: 48

A Monkey and an Ax

"...that's when she went over there with an ax!"
"Where was the monkey?"
"Oh, he was already in the bedroom."
"The cops were on their way?"
"Yeah. He had already called when the girl...... "

Word count: 35

Ultrasound

“...and by the time they got all that ultrasound goo smeared around we were so excited.”

“Did you hear the heartbeat?”

“Yes! It sounded like a washing machine!”

“Could they tell the sex?”

“Yes, but we don’t want to know.”

“But why?”

“We want to wait until he gives birth...”

Word count: 51

A Bear?

“What’s the point of that?”
“The point of what? The credit card or the bear?”
“The bear.”
“Oh, that’s easy, once you get to the shopping mall all you have to do is…”

Word count: 33

He really did that?

*Stranger enters elevator, doors close*

"He really did that?"
"Yeah, I can’t believe it either."
"But a cucumber and a baby alligator?"
"And with his brother of all people."
"I’m not sure I can be his friend anymore."

*Doors open, exit elevator*

Word count: 42

Deer...

"As it turns out, a deer will stop dead if you shine headlights at it."
"So what'd you do after that?"
"We got out the shears, and..."

Word count: 27

Senior Prank

“....Wait, why was the sloth in the cage with the bats?”
“He didn't like the bongos.”
“Really?”
“Yup. Plus the bats are....”

Word count: 23

So there I was frozen in place

What did you do?

Well first I had to pull up my pants

I thought you were naked?

Yes, until I saw the lights go off. It didn’t give me much time but I was at least able to pull up my underpants.

Word count: 50

My great aunt Ferris

"So where are you going with your aunt for vacation this year?"
"What are you packing again?"

"Some toothpaste, orangutauns, and wheelbarrows."

"Really"

"Yeah, I'm going to use it for........"

Word count: 30

Do WHAT?!

“…lube the dip counter before you stick the ANAL probe in the chute to keep the shaft from sticking in the BUT.”

Word count: 22

It got stuck where?

"how's bill?"

"did you not hear, he was rushed to hospital"

"no, was he hurt? is it serious?"

"was a bit scary at first but he's fine. He sees the funny side now"

"oh?"

"he had something logded in him"

"why, what was it?"

"a roll on deodorant..."

Word count: 48

The Little Monster

The victim enters
#2 how did you get it?
#1 I found it in an ally, got enough air in there? Into pocket
#2 makes nose to imitate monster
#1 I just love things that can breathe fire
Ahh! Not in my pocket that burns!!
Leave to let victim ponder

Word count: 50