Easy-to-Keep Resolutions

Rules:

We all make resolutions, and, sadly, many are hard to keep.

Let's make it easier!

The rules of the game are thus: Make up an original resolution that you'll have no problem keeping. Humor is key, here.

Keep in mind that profanity is not acceptable. All entries must be in accordance with our text rules and guidelines. As always, quality is a must.

You will have 7 days for this contest, so make your submissions count.

Word Limit: 30. Entries longer than 30 words may be disqualified.

Please look over the suggestions in this discussion before submitting.

The entry fee for this contest is 2 credits; the jackpot is is up to 50 credits, depending on the number of entries.

Thanks to Mishikal for the themepost!

Entries:

Lowering My Use of Complete Unnecessity

My New Year's resolution it to stop trying to steal Somalian Space Program information.

Word count: 14


Take a Deep Breath for this one.

I resolve to breathe seventy-nine percent nitrogen and twenty-one percent oxygen every day without fail. Even if it kills me.

Word count: 20


Wordy

I resolve not to be redundant, repetitious, palaverous, excessive, superfluous, verbose, supererogatory, oratorical, loquacious, reiterating, pleonastic or long winded.

Word count: 19


Worthy resolution

I resolve to stop winning every single Worth1000 writing contest so that someone else can have a turn to shine.

Word count: 20


I resolve...

I resolve to contradict everything I write.
Except if I wrote it.

Word count: 12


Easy resolution

I resolve to stop giving my vitamins to the cat.

Word count: 10


Sometimes the office takes a little too much out of you

I resolve to stop blowing my nose on the freshly shredded office documents left in the copy room, when I think no one is looking.

Word count: 25


Human Sacrifice

I resolve to stop getting involved with human sacrifices this year.

Word count: 11


Smoking?

I resolve to quit smoking after sex … using more lubricant should help cut down on the friction.

Word count: 17


I can do it!

I resolve to spend at least ten hours each day logged into Worth.

Word count: 13


Weight

I resolve to gain weight.

Word count: 5


Make No Promises!

My new year's resolution for 2010
Is to not make one... EVER again!
Nothing to prove and nothing to do,
And the best of luck to the rest of you!

Word count: 30


Hair

I resolve to let my follicles grow hair.

Word count: 8


Pregnant

I resolve not to get pregnant this year.

Word count: 8


Resolution accomplished!

I resolve to enter the 'Easy-to-Keep Resolutions' contest on Worth1000...

Word count: 10


Toilet fun

I resolve to stop swimming in toilets during my lunch break. Besides, it really makes my water aerobics routine impossible!

Word count: 20


Computer addiction

I will stop wasting time sitting in front of a computer.
I still wonder how to waste time sitting behind it, but I'm sure I'll figure it out.

Word count: 28


Resolve

I resolve to do something or other. The moment something or other shows up, I'll resolve to do that. There. I've made a resolution to resolve.

Word count: 26


And I dont even have to get out of bed.

I resolve to stop watching tv all day long on the plasma screen in the living room. Instead, I have hooked up a 64' inch LCD tv in my bedroom.

Word count: 30


Green resolution

I will save water.

... I'll be drinking nothing but champagne.

Word count: 10


Success!

I resolve to enter at least one text contest in 2010. Hey, how about that, I've already succeeded.

Word count: 18


Stay upwind.

I resolve to fart more often.

Word count: 6


Not too difficult to keep....

“I resolve to put my left hand in, put my left hand out, put my left hand in AND shake it all about”

Word count: 23


Living?

My resolution is to not stop breathing......

Word count: 7


chocolate.

I will try to eat more chocolate.

Word count: 7


The new diet!

I resolve to stop eating junk food, from my daughter's McDonald's play set.

Word count: 13


More burnt toast and cold eggs!

My New Year's resolution is to continue to forget to put the seat down on the toilet once I have finished and then go to bed.

Word count: 26


Tough times...

I resolve to spend less monopoly money.

Word count: 7


The New Year

My New Year's resolution is to wake up tomorrow, take a shower, then go to work. Not the most exciting resolution, I guess. How exciting is YOUR life, bub?!

Word count: 29


I Promise 2010

I promise to wake up every morning with a smile on my face, my bad attitude will be dealt with next year. Maybe. If you're lucky.

Word count: 26


That's a whole 'lotta look!

I resolve, for the entire year, to wear clothes that are my appropriate size””preventing “muffin top look” from being the only thing people see.

Word count: 24


My Resolution

My resolution:

I resolve to give a million pounds to everyone if for once, Summer is actually HOT in England!

Word count: 20


Cashless

When i'm broke, i'll quit gambling!

Word count: 6


I Need to Remember.....

I MUST remember that tacs are sharp......

Word count: 7